Try again
by TARDIStraveller
Summary: Mergana one-shot. Merlin has lost someone he cares for. He stumbles through the forest calling out to the person he thinks that could free him from his grief. But maybe all he needs is a shoulder to cry on, for someone to understand. And maybe to try again.


"Morgana!" his voice cracked as he yelled to the empty forest. Merlin stumbled through the trees, sobbing as tears coursed down his face. It was only minutes ago that he had left a piece of his heart on the hill.

"MORGANA!" he yelled again, collapsing to his knees on the forest floor. He stayed there, twigs and stones digging into his knees and tears running down his cheeks. He wept, his arms barely keeping him off the ground. He was broken.

* * *

Morgana watched the broken man a few feet before her. She felt her hard mask slip as she saw his anguish. She watched him tremble and the tears dripping down to the earth. She was shocked at the man in front of her. This was not the Merlin she remembered. Something must have caused his pain and she could only think of one thing. Wishing that she were wrong.

She moved forward slowly, trying to stay in the shadows not wanting to see his face. His head snapped up and their eyes met causing her to stop suddenly. His once blue eyes were now red and bloodshot. There was despair in his eyes that she wanted to look away, the look of a man who had no-where to go, who had lost something precious. She saw his lips crack a sad smile when he recognised her, his tears started again.

He made no move to stop the tears from falling as his mouth opened. He whispered one word. "Please." It was so full of grief and pain that she wondered how this man could feel this much pain. She realised he was begging. He never begged. She was confused by his behaviour, resolutely ignoring the small voice in her head that was telling her the reason why Merlin was so broken.

He continued to watch her, wondering whether she would grant him his one wish. He watched her eyes as so many emotions passed through. He knew when she had finished the puzzle because even though her eyes cleared from the fog of confusion they filled with water.

She looked at him, her eyes pleading with him to tell her what she thought was wrong. He nodded. He didn't realise that she had moved closer towards him until she collapsed on her knees in front of him, the tears slipping from their confines and coursing down her pale face.

Her shoulders started to shake and she let out an anguished cry as she fell towards Merlin. He wrapped his arms around her body as it shook. He pulled her closer, nestling her head into his shoulder while she wept. He placed his cheek on her head taking a deep breath trying to staunch the flow of his tears, breathing in her scent and relishing in the warmth from her body. The only comfort left for him now.

They stayed on the forest floor clinging on to each other to keep them grounded, sane. They let their tears flow and released their grief and sadness in each other's arms. The sun began to rise of the trees, signalling the new day.

When the light filtered through the branches and hit them, Merlin slowly pulled back. Morgana's hands were fisted in his tunic, not letting him move far away. Merlin slowly lifted his hands to cup her cheeks and started to wipe away the tear tracks. They never let their eyes disconnect, once blue and green now red with grief.

Morgana opened and closed her mouth repeatedly. "Is –" she broke off not wishing the finish her whispered question. Merlin just started at her and nodded once his eyes filling with tears again.

"I tried," he told her, his voice rough from crying, "Oh god, I tried." The tears slipped from his eyes as Morgana raised her hands and copied Merlin's movements from before.

" I don't doubt you." She whispered knowingly. Merlin would always try, no matter who needed help, he tried. He let out a disbelieving sob, to which she shook her head.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked, his voice cracking. His face scrunched up trying hold in his tears.

"Nothing." She said simply, gripping his face. "She was loved, by you, by me." Trying to make him understand that he did all he could. He rested his head in her hands. She caressed his cheekbones with her thumbs, trying to provide some comfort. He closed his eyes at the sensations.

"You want to see her?" he whispered, keeping his eyes closed. He heard nothing in reply for a few moments. He opened his eyes and saw her nod once. Merlin rose from the ground slowly, their hands slipping from each other's faces. He grabbed hers and pulled her up. She followed him through the woods, not once letting go of his hand.

* * *

They exited the forest at the base of a hill and walked to the top. They stopped at the crest and looked out at the scenery. The great city of Camelot stood, not far from where they were, the dense forest separating them. The mountains stood tall behind them, the sun rising above them signalling the new day.

"She always loved it here." Merlin said, lost in his thoughts as he gazed at the view. Morgana grasped his hand tighter at the memories that returned of happier times on the same hill.

"Now she'll get to stay here forever." His words spoken softly yet filled with bone aching sadness. Morgana looked down at the ground in front of her. She released Merlin's hand and knelt to place both of hers on the earth. She felt him kneel beside her, he placed his hands on top of hers. She glanced at him questioningly.

"Try again?" he whispered, pleading for another chance. Hope shone through his eyes boring into hers, she couldn't resist. Morgana twisted her hands and intertwined their fingers.

"Try again." She stated, watching a genuine smile spread across his face, and feeling her own grow to match his.

"She would have wanted it." She said staring at the earth beneath their hands. She leant forward and placed her forehead on the ground. She leant back and allowed Merlin to pull her up. They proceeded to walk down the hill, hand in hand, with a renewed purpose to their lives. They constantly glanced over their shoulders towards the crest of the hill. Silently promising to visit their daughter again. Together.

It was what she had wished for with her last breath.

* * *

AN: Plot bunny attacked. Had to get this down. Love me some Mergana, got the idea while read Jeffrey Archer's _A Twist In The Tale_, it's a collection of short stories that I would greatly recommend. Review. Tell me what you think. May have more one-shots in the future, hopefully a bit lighter than this.

Click the blue button, I don't care if it's just to tell me it's bad. Any criticism is constructive.


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